New York city should take note!!!

EXCELLENT IDEA 

In Seville, Spain, the City Council authorized the construction of a Mosque on one of the empty pieces of land.

The citizens did not want the mosque built in their vicinity and found a brilliant solution.

They buried a pig in the land, and made the news public.

The Islamic law prohibits the construction of a mosque on the lands desecrated by remains of pigs, therefore the Muslims had to renounce the construction on this desecrated land...
The commentaries of the Civil Guard (Police) are very interesting. Maybe it is the solution needed by New York to avoid the construction of a mosque in the vicinity of the twin towers.

The Israelis have been using a similar strategy since 2004. They placed boxes containing pig lard on the buses in Israel and made it public that any kamikaze suicide bomber who tries to assault a bus, risks the prohibition of entering the heaven by getting the lard on his/her self.  

There are no suicide bombers on the buses in Israel any more. 

Another Footballer scandal is on the grapevine

I hear that a Liverpool player is about to be exposed as having an affair or having a prostitute.
However, another grapevine tells me it's his missus who is having an affair with a drug Baron in Liverpool.
I guess the 2 could go together?

Chairman of Pakistan Cricket retracts the accusation of England fixing.

Well what a surprise!!!
They accused the England team to detract from their own problems and now one or two now of their players admitting it, this idiot has backed down and the threat of legal action I guess.
He should be sacked from the Pakistan Cricket Board as it's not his first screw up.

If it was England he would either be sacked or asked to resign, but I guess this guy who is on good salary etc wont' do the honourable thing!!

Pakistan Cricket team now splitting and showing their colours!

As I said previously, the Pakistani team are a bunch of liars.
In todays press it says that Teen bowler Moh'd Amir was told by his Captain to throw the game.
There you have it, from one of the horses mouth.
Of course the Captain Salman Butt will deny it, but we ALL know they are a bunch of thieving bastards!
Also the Ambassador and the the head of Pakistan Cricket Board should resign, because they are as bad as the others i.e. all on the take and a bunch of CHEATERS !

Why don't we use the same rule as they do in their country.
All guilty until proven innocent! May save millions in court bills

Trained monkeys guard athletes at Commonwealth Games

Trained langur monkeys are being deployed by organisers of the Commonwealth Games to prevent wild animals infesting sporting venues in Delhi.

The highly intelligent primates have been patrolling stadiums and accommodation blocks to scare off other wildlife including wild monkeys, dogs and even snakes.

Handlers from miles around the Indian capital have been drafted in to patrol the athletes’ village as the final preparations are made for the games.

Some teams threatened to boycott the competition after complaining that the accommodation was inhabitable and overrun with animals.

One shocked South African competitor even discovered a deadly cobra snake in his room.

Heavy monsoon rains have caused flooding near the Games Village causing many snakes to seek refuge.

Commonwealth Games organisers have also been particularly concerned buy the arrival of packs of wild monkeys which have been creating a nuisance around the venues by stealing food and attacking humans.

Langur monkeys are noted for their intelligence but also their aggression and are highly effective in deterring other animals from taking up residence.

The Commonwealth Games are due to get under way at the weekend and will be officially opened by the Prince of Wales.

This should make the competitors feel really safe !!!

I thought the headline related to the locals at first!!!

Bentley to recall cars over fears 'Flying B' could impale pedestrians

An Article in the Daily Telegraph today!

This has never happened and looking at the sign it isn't likely to unless at tremendous force.

Bentleys are known to be safe as people who have them are generally, geriatrics who drive slow or if a younger person like 45 years old, they don't want to spoil the car anyway.

Another elf & safty mark!!

=======================================================================

Bentley, the British car maker, is to recall hundreds of vehicles in the United States because of fears that pedestrians could be impaled on the iconic "Flying B" bonnet ornament in a crash.

 

By Heidi Blake
Published: 7:08AM BST 23 Sep 2010

14 Comments

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The winged statue is designed to retract in the event of a collision, but fears have been raised that the mechanism may fail if the ornament gets rusty.

"There is a potential for the 'B' hood ornament's retracting mechanism to become corroded. This may lead to the 'B' hood ornament not retracting as intended when a vehicle is involved in a crash," a recall notice from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) said.

"If the hood ornament does not retract, it could increase the risk of injury to a pedestrian in the event of a crash between the vehicle and the pedestrian," the agency added.

The recall affects the Arnager, Arnaget, Arnage RL, Brooklands and Azure models from 2007 to 2009, some of which come with a recommended price tag of well over $300,000 (£191,680). The NHTSA estimated around 600 cars are implicated.

The recall is highly unusual for Bentley, which manufactures some of the world's most expensive and sought-after vehicles.

The company decided to recall the cars after a dealer spotted the problem in Britain.

In notifying NHTSA of the risk that pedestrians could be harmed by a rusty "B" sign, Bentley stressed that "this condition has not been witnessed by or reported to Bentley Motors Limited, neither is Bentley otherwise aware of any accidents or injuries related to this matter."

The company has pledged to fix the problem at dealerships beginning later this month for free.

Footballers are fair game for the wannabe's

Bramble and Beckham on the same day to have sex scandals.
There have been others recently as well, so I repeat what I said before, why don't the clubs make the footballers aware of the parasites out there!
However, if proven true against Beckham this will end his marriage for sure. At least he is still active somewhere then!!!

Gutted by Spurs and as expected from the crooks of Lahore!!

How on earth did Spurs lose 4-1 to the Arsenal youth team???

Harry should stop playing about wiht the team and field his strongest all the time. I guessed we would lose as the bookies slashed the odds of an Spurs win on the premise that Wenger plays his youngsters for the Carling cup. Then I thought well always go for the underdog!!

Pakistan true to form in the press today now coming out with even more rediculous claims that a fracas between a England and Pakistan players caused them nearly to call the police. The Pakistan are very clever at brinkmanship and trying to upset the opposition.
If they think this will smoke screen the fact that they are outright crooks, they can think again!!

Just ban the bastards!

I was right !! number 2

I have 2 takers already!

• We should arrange caddies for those bunker shots!
• Celebrations for a hole in one
• Massages afterwards
• Someone to tuck us into bed!!

When is the best time to go ??? i.e. non-monsoon.

Pakistan Cricket is a sham

Now the Pakistani team are accusing the England team of bribery!
Of course this is just typical of a corrupt association by making sweeping accusations against other teams.
I want to know why this corrupt team are still playing. IF the England team had been found to do this then they would be suspended.
Already middle men are putting on bets about very specifics in this weeks match.
I suspect these specifics will be changed now to try and avoid being caught.
Pakistan is a VERY corrupt society so it happens in their daily lives and it most probably happens in Hockey and any other sport they do internationally. I know Pakistani politics and daily lives very well having been there and knowing very wealthy families and people in power.
It's my view the bastards should be chucked out for 10 years.

I was right !!!

My weekend went as expected and even worse.

Apparently, for not saying anything to my missus about her poor sister who has Cancer, I was guilty of not supporting her.

Eventhough, I was more tender and caring (for me anyway) than normal.

I just can't win.

The Asian girls are looking more enticing by the day.

I think a weeks worth of golf in Thailand is becoming appropriate!!

Anyone else want to join me for golf??

Afternoon playtime is cancelled for being too noisy!!

3 Neighbours have complained that the afternoon playtime is too noisy at a school!

1. Isn't that the whole point of Playtime to vent their energy into running around and screaming
2. Why move next to a school if you don't like noise or children
3. Where is the sense of the school Head teacher
4. Where is the sense from the council

Barlby Community Primary School, Selby, North Yorks and the governors are waiting for an Acoustic survey.

Tell the 3 whinging neighbours to move!"!

XFactor is a con

XFactor showed that Louis Walsh was a moody pratt and listed a number of acts boring. Simon Cowell asked why he was grumpy and trying to ruin peoples lives.
2 camp gay poofs come on and Louis cheers up and laughs and takes an interest. The 2 campers choose a wrong song, so they give them a second chance. Their entourage looked like a gay parade from another planet.
Anyway, their second song allows them to go through. Thye are followed by a pub, nightclub singer, who chose the wrong song. Did they give him a second chance, no bloody way!!

It's a con and I hope it's the last season.

Also, 2 fat ladies (Bingo) were terrible and one of them was so incensed by it she punched the other as they walked off stage. Hilarious !!!

Weekend thoughts

So far I have been proven correct in my assumptions!!

UAE raising even more taxation indirectly

All Foreigners to have ID cards. something like AED100 for the card, visa cost + AED 140 a year.
Also under 15's to have cards as well at AED 140.

Personal Taxation due I believe in 2013.

This is the richest country in the world per headcount.

If you saw UAE first hand and lived there for 3 months, you would realize it's in serious trouble.

Personally I wouldn't have any money there and get out beofre it all starts going belly up.

All I read are new proposals for the Tourist trade. Why is this? Could it be their Oil reserves are vastly over rated?We shall see but I doubt in 30 years you will rememebr I said this!And I won't be here to remind you.

Quiet weekend for me!

I know I am selfish, but it seems my weekend has just been spoilt for any nookie.
The missus' sister has been diagnosed with Cancer and a blood clot on the lung.

Anyway the good news is I can watch more football!

In the clear!

It seems I don't owe the Dutch taxman money according to my company set up.
Still checking one last bit of info before I celebrate!!!

Nightmare morning

Up at 3.30am and at Stansted at 4.30am, where I was greeted by queues of people for check in. Luckily I had to just drop a bag off. Then I went to Security and the queues were almost at the exit of the terminal!

I get to Schiphol -Amsterdam and the queues for passport control went way back as well and then the taxi rank which had about 200 people lining up.

Traffic was a bit slow. So all in all arrived in the office later than expected.

Taxing

Well having seen a tax expert in Holland yesterday it seems that my UK accountant MAY have got it wrong. If he has I owe about Euros 100k in tax in Holland.
We will see after I have provided all the paperwork and all parties have spoken.

I need a contingent strategy, anyone have one???

Jokes

A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief.
"Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed!"

A black man has been shot at close range with a starting pistol. Police are saying its definately race related!

A friend has just started his own business, manufacturing Land mines that look like Prayer mats. Apparently prophets are going through the roof

Alex Ferguson held an 80's party for his players. Giggs arrived in a cavalier, Scholes arrived in a sierra and Rooney come in his escort

My wife offers to take me for a thai!

Obviously she meant a dinner, but I did think about it twice !!!

life back in Europe

Wet, cold and trying to sort out tax status!!

Coleen to leave Rooney

So Coleen has told him she doesn't need him anymore and her family have banned him from their house.
Well we will see if all of this is long term.
However, I know she is a beautiful girl and now she is mega rich and will get more from Rooney, I don't think Rooney will be short of a good looking girl.

Isn't it about time the football clubs help with coaching these stars about infidelity?
Even if it tells them that
1. they will always be caught
2. Too many girls looking to sell their story
3. it will cost them at least half of their earnings!

They must all be bloody thick. No wonder Spurs are looking to start a school. Except it will be full of Dunces!

Maybe Renaldo isn't so stupid. He can pay for girls, he can pay one million to keep a pregnant mother quiet,
But at least he can get rid of the problem quickly and still keep his money in tact etc and it will blow over quickly.

Then  there is the story of Abby Clancy finding out about Crouch going with a another girl.
Her solution is to make him marry her asap to 'help' her forgive.
The way I think of it, is that she will leave him after about a year and say that she can't forgive and forget, name the other woman etc etc
Then she gets about STG3 mio happy days!!
Crouch is likely to fall for this as well 'cos he is thick.
I would say, give her the Spanish elbow why you can mate!!

Here is a question:

Who is being exploited these days?

Answer: Men and the women have it to a fine art!! They are like Rottweilers with lipstick.
They have short dresses on, make up, push their tits up and then go for the jugular in a nightclub or somewhere. After the deed is done, it's off to the newspapers!!
I am cynical, but how many times is it happening?

In Amsterdam

Well I am back here.
Yesterday was glorious sunshine and the girls were out.
Today, pissing down and I got into work wet!!
Oh well, different to being covered in dust I suppose from the desert.

Having said that, I had a great time in Abu Dhabi, especially with my 'Boss' Paul who is a great guy, shame he is a septic though!
The company was brilliant and the staff very nice, especially the local girls who laughed alot and took innuendos well.

However, the family come first and my health second and being able to save money third!!

First weekend back in UK

Ok! so I have been running around a bit.
Today (Saturday) I was with my middle son going to Chelmsford.
I met with my local Masonic Lodge guys, then we went and looked for football boots for my son as his toes is bad from others being too slow.
He is 13 years old and now has size 9 boot.
My 18 year old has 14 size boots

Then  we went to see the film The Expendibles. Typical Stallone movie loads of blasts, shooting and what was funny was he went back for a girl and saved her of course, but when she was eventually saying goodbye and thank you for saving me, he hugged her!! No kissing 'cos he is a man. Either that or he is a crap kisser with that wonkey mouth he has!!!

Tonight not a lot. Tomorrow is down for filing my company stuff and getting ready to leave for Amsterdam in the afternoon.

Pakistan cheating again in cricket

a lot of news about the Pakistan cricketers being involved in bribes and betting scam.
The newspaper in the UK caught a guys fair and square taking STG150,000 for a scam that listed that there would 3 balls called a 'Bye' on a certain over and a certian ball in the over to go wild and decalred a 'a bye'.

The middle man was arrested and then released on bail with no deposit. whats the betting he will disappear!!

Then the 3 cricketers who went along and took the bribes allegedly are being investigated today by the Pakistan cricket committee at the Embassy.

We have seen this before, as it's not the first time they have been caught.

However, all that will happen is a small fine and a ban for a few games on these guys IF they can prove anything.

It's a wash out, when Pakisatn Cricket team should be banned for years, but of course they won't because they have been one of the better teams ( cheating withstanding) and it's worth too much money to the mamby pandy cricket board!!!

In plain language they are ALL crooks!!!!

Back in Blighty!!!

Got back this morning.
Flights full of wobblies and jinglies and confusion amassed.

I was sad to say goodbye to my buddy, but couldn't show him I was upset.
I think we are alike in numerous ways, which is why we compliment each other well.

My faithfull dog was excited for me to be home. He understands me and always listens with no back bark!

However, from an overall view I think the UAE is in trouble for various reasons. So anyone going there see it as a short term thing if 15-20 years is short term.