Ashes to Ashes!!

We stuffed the Aussies in the cricket!!!
They couldn't even bear to turn up and see their team stuffed!!

England retain the Ashes

I guess the property prices in Dubai won't be going back up!!!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/dubai/8228244/Britain-forms-plan-for-Gulf-evacuation-in-event-of-war-with-Iran.html

Leading up to Xmas was a bit of a nightmare.

1. Tuesday the Water didn’t work in the house. All because we have a filter outside and it had frozen. Called plumber out. Now bypassed by a switch.
2. Wednesday the power sockets didn’t work in the house. I explained to my wife that it had to be something tripping it. This meant an electrician coming around to take plugged applications out and then adding one by one so as not to overload.
3. Thursday the waste pipe outside was blocked. All stuff came back up the toilet and out onto the floor. Called Drainage guy and he quickly found that paper had got stuck, so he released it.
4. Xmas Day, my 10 year old daughter wanted to help and lay some things out on the table for snacks. She thought that the melted candle was was water and threw it down the sink. I had to dismantle the waste pipe and clean it all and take the solidified wax out of the pipes. Now ok.
5. Washing Machine still leaking water for some washes and not others. A washing machine man will be called out.

We had a guest this weekend. An American lad of 22 years old. Looking forward to his first UK Xmas and TV. Except the TV was absolute rubbish with ‘slit your throat’ serials TV programmes.

It was no wonder he drank a lot and ate a lot.

He even converted my 13 year old son to a Star Wars fan by watching 4 films with him. I couldn’t understand why my son had rope around him though!!

My wife cooked excellent Xmas lunch, which we are still finishing off.

Boxing Day we had a meal at The Outback, which was also good.

Presents I received:

Samsung Galaxy Tab

Smellies

Woolly Hat

Perfume

Small bottles of whisky

For my Birthday I received:

Big bar of Cadbury's Whole nut (lovely)

2 tickets for Al Murray ( Pub Landlord)

CD of Shakira

It ain't right !!

7am on the underground in Amsterdam, with 2 guys kissing and cuddling.
Both were ugly and had big noses!

Not sure of the significance of that, but it ain't right !!!

UK football is in disarry

The UK game is in a mess and it's partly because the F.A. has no control on the clubs and doesn't seem to want to.

Players

We have seen first the foreign players come into the game. This has been good. but now too much. Looking at Arsenal on Monday, there was only one English player starting with a second coming on as substitute.
So here Arsenal, Arsene Wenger and the FA are at fault.
You can't blame the players for this!
In fact the UK game has had a long relationship with Dutch players, who always seem to promote loyalty, going back to Ipswich days with Frank Thijssen and  Arnold Muhren.
Tevez is a nightmare. Not only does he think he is God and can do waht he wants, but his owner (Pimp) the Iranian chappie sells him to the highest bidder and so far has wanted him to move every 2 years so that he gets a new cut of the money as well.

Managers

Then we have the import of foreign Managers.They cause as much chaos as the players these days. Look at Sven Goran Erriksen who changes teams with the wind, then we have Ancellotti at Chelsea who is now looking to leave. Martin Jol. Not only this, look at Spurs and their disasters with Foreign Managers.
Mancini in Man City I have respect for. He is loyal and he is against the pampering of the high earners like Tevez.

Owners

Now we have a different ball game in the UK. The Foreign owners.
They are now acting as if they have the knowledge of the game and how to run a football club, without knowing the game, as in the case of the Yanks.
Also, they are beginning to name who is playing and who is and who they are buying.

Agents


The agents need their clients to be unstable, this way they can move them on and get further commission!

F.A.

So back to the organization run by half wits. We need a complete change of management here and get football managers and ex-footballers in the committee in order to run the F.A. This will provide an all round depth of knowledge of the game and an understanding of the roots and where it's all going!

Blackburn's new hopes!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/blackburn-rovers/8200889/Blackburn-owners-sacked-Sam-Allardyce-in-search-of-good-football-and-to-be-fourth-or-fifth-in-the-league.html

Blackburn are looking to be in top 4-5 or higher with a manager.
They and 19 others !!

But they have named interests with Martin Jol, Diego Maradona and Sven Goran Erikson ( really not a mercenary, he just likes money).
So really this is an Oxymoron

London Dungeon and Rain Forest Cafe

My daughter has treated the family to a lovely day out.
First to London Dungeon in a stretch limousine.

Then over to the Rain Forest. As the limousine pulled up at both places people were taking photos of us we got out, thinking we were famous!!!

Thanks alot to my daughter

Newcastle new Manager

Alan Pardew gets a 5.1/2 year contract !!

Bear in mind in the past 3 years Newcastle has had 6 Managers.

so my thoughts are:
1. Contracts mean nothing at Newcastle
2. Pardew isn't a good Manager

I think 5.1/2 years will be a short lived thing, although he might get a half decent pay off

Xmas Party

Last night was our Xmas party at the office.
It was very loud and very costly.
Drink alone came to EUR700 for 28 people.

Happy days for the Mexican restaurant though.

Just very tired today !!!

Uk vs Holland in the Champions League

I reckon there was a bit of Bon-Ami last night between Spurs vs Twente.
the score was 3-3.
Each time Spurs scored then Twente scored a few minutes after.
Now Twente haven't done well this season with Twente starting at bottom of the Champions league and they haven't been doing well in the Dutch domestic league.
All of a sudden they score 4 goals against Spurs ! (one being a back pass and the goalie missed it)

So I reckon as compensation for both countries not getting the 2018 World Cup Spurs helped Twente. After the match the 2 managers seemed very friendly!!

Xfactor is rigged !!

Let me just put in a few facts here.
1. Mary sang far better than Cherl Lloyd tonight.
2. Cherl has been having constant Psyctiatric help
3. Cherl has been getting stage fright injections
4. Black eyed peas leader is a friend of Cheryl Cole and he backed her 2 acts Cherl and Rebecca
5. Cheryl Cole is being taken to USA version called American Idol
6. Simon Cowell is a big friend of Cheryl so for him to vote against her was impossible
7. Surely Cheryl Cole's act can't win 3 years on the go with her going to the USA.

I see Cherl will fall down quickly as she is a nervous wreck.
Apparently according to the press her family are somewhat Dubious and are likely to upset people.

So we have Simon's group who are very good.
Rebecca they say is absolute class and said from day one she has a recording voice.
Matt is good and is favourite, so it means he wont win!!!

So this leads everything to the telephone voting bringing Simon Cowell millions each show.
All in all the singers don't count and nor do the public apart from their money for phone calls.

World Cup Fiasco

England were favourites with betting showing 1-2 on odds, to get the World Cup because of our grounds and infrastructure.
Beckham, Cameron and Future King was in town to make sure we met the right people and got votes!

Out of 22 votes we got 2 and one of those was our own one!!!

Something just not right as I said yesterday.

Clubs and Newspapers are calling for an enquiry into bribes etc.

FIFA is answerable to no one and that's where the problem is. They deny everything and can get away with it. We have known for many years how corrupt it is. I don't think Panaroma programme from the BBC highlighted anything the other night, as it was a done deal months ago , as Russia has likely bribed all votes from lower world countries, with either the promise of cash, arms, food etc.

It now makes sense why Putin wasn't involved and why no one from Russia seemed bothered - they didn't have to be !!!

Russia win the World cup!!!

They didn't show much interest and Putin stayed away and yet they won the bid!!!
My guess is the bastards paid the caribbean and africans etc loads of dosh!!!!

World cup 2018 bid

We should win based on the criteria that we meet and more.

2 Stadiums to have at least 50,000 fans.
++Russia seems they will be late building new stadiums, plus 12 hours travel by train between some stadiums
++Spain and Portugal can do this but Spain not long ago held a World Cup plus as I said yesterday, how can they when they should be asking for handouts from the EU.
++Netherlands and Belgium. Yes it would be nice for their first, but Belgium is broke and I am not sure if they have a stadium that holds 50,000.
++UK has Wembley (95,000), Emirates (53,000), Old Trafford(75,000) and more.

If we don't win, then it's a bloody fix again with Blatter, Platini (English hater), Beckenbauer et al

What is going on?

After a bad night I took the day off.
Cables being released by a Wikileaks and all kinds of recriminations going on.
What I found odd is why private conversations are being minuted!
Will UK get the !2018 World Cup. We should do, we have the best stadiums and we have the infrastructure, plus we have David Beckham, David Cameron and Prince William talking to the voters.
Putin is stuck firmly in Russia and Spain/Portugal have a huge credit crunch so how will they be able to afford it,
Belgium is bust anbd will expect the Netherlands to pay for most of it OR the British tax payer by asking for more EU money- Bastards!!!!

Shakatak

I was dragged along by my wife to see this group from the early 80's.
Surprisingly they have had over 20 albums.
Well we showed up last night to Bishops Stortford in Essex which is where they came from.
The venue didn't have seats and some guys were standing at the stage 30 minutes beforehand with their cameras and Ipods at the ready.
Most of the attendees were at the very least Middle Aged and some were so decrepit they weren't going to get up and boogie!.
Anyway the group came on and the lead female was in a nice long black dress only to notice that she was somewhat pregnant or just fat. She still had the fancy hand movements as well while playing her bongos and flute.
Anyway, after the 2 main hit songs and after 25 minutes, my wife asked what time it was. This is a good sign for me. It meant she didn't think much of them.
Those people who have never heard of them, Shakatak was a jazz funk group.
At this point the lead guitarist went into a jazz disappear up your arse solo. This was definately a hint to go outside for a drink, which we did.
We didn't go back!!

Glorious Spurs!

Yes we got through to the knock-out stages of the Champions league last night.
In the end an easy win at 3-0 against Werder Bremen.
However, Spurs injury list grew again last night, so this could cause a problem for us!

Come on you Spurs !!!

Bloody airport security

This morning in my hand luggage I took 2 Fray and Bentos pies in a tin.
i.e. these are machine sealed tins that hold pies like Steak and kidney and Chicken and Mushroom and can only open with a tin opener.

The security at Stansted removed them from my bag, because they have gravy in and could hold bombs!!!

The security scanning guy recognized them immediately as the real item.
The woman who should have known better, said it was due to rules.
I explained that these seem to change every month and it becomes an entertainment as to which one's they change.

What will they come up with next?
Most probably not allowed to wear wired bras 'cos the wire may used as a weapon!!!

Al Murray and the Forces jokes

AL MURRAY is best known for his character, the Pub Landlord, but he is also a keen supporter of our Armed Forces.

Now the funnyman has thrown his comedy muscle behind a new military joke book, The Laughing Soldier, produced by veterans' charity Project 65.

Free copies of the book, published yesterday, are being sent out to British troops fighting in Afghanistan. It is also going on sale here.

Here are some of the best gags.

THE Regimental Sergeant Major stormed up to the Commanding Officer and demanded his leave right then and there.

"Look," protested the CO, "You've already had more leave than you're supposed to."

"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the RSM said. "Come with me."

He went to the parade ground and grabbed a new recruit. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered.

Twenty minutes later the recruit returned, sweaty and out of breath.

"You're not there, sir," he reported.

"Oh, I see what you mean," the CO conceded, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."

OFFICER: Soldier, do you have change for a pound?

Soldier: Yes, mate, of course.

Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a pound?
Soldier: No, SIR!

AFTER two weeks of basic training, a sergeant lined up his new recruits and asked them who they would like to spend an hour with if given the chance right now. Several soldiers answered their mothers, their girlfriends, etc. Then the sergeant heard a unique answer.

Sergeant: Private, who would you most like to be alone with for an hour?

Private: My careers adviser, Sarge!

A LOST sales rep stops to ask a passing Marine for directions. "Excuse me," says the rep. "What's the quickest way to Exeter?"

The Marine thinks for a moment and then asks: "Are you walking or driving?"

"I'm driving," replies the rep. "Yep. That's the quickest way," says the Marine.

A TEACHER asked her class to find out a story from their parents with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and began to tell their stories.

"Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, Miss - my daddy told a story about my Uncle Pete. Uncle Pete was a pilot in the RAF in the first Gulf War and his plane got hit.

"He had to bail out over enemy territory and all he had was a small flask of whisky, a pistol and a survival knife. He drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy hands and then he parachuted right in the middle of 20 enemy troops.

"He shot 15 of them with the gun until he ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife until the blade broke, then he killed the last one with his bare hands."

"Wow," said the teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that?"

"Stay away from Uncle Pete when he's been drinking."

The Laughing Soldier is available now in bookshops or from thelaughingsoldier.org.

Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/3235912/Soldier-gags-from-charity-book.html#ixzz15i9cVBHM

Women are defunct!!!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/3231673/My-girlfriend-is-a-robot.html

New sex study and infidelity

Written by a woman in the Daily Mail. It seems that women are on top of everything!!!!

Facts:
12% of women between ages of 20-60+ abuse their husbands trust
76% of middle aged men forgive their wives ( no figures for other way around!!)
12% across the surveyed age group have had emotional or sexual affairs although 8% say it was for pure sex (that's alright then!)
18% of men in their 20's stray
14% of men at 60 stray
47% womens affairs are with men at work
21% of women say things on the internet they wouldn't tell their partners which constitutes a betrayal (something to do with being free of kids etc)
Women feel that staying in their marriage after being found out, still gives them the respectability.
74% of women between 50-59 successfully conceal their infidelities.
37%  of 50-59 year olds women said that their marriages ended when the husbands found out.
8% of total relationships break up from a man's or woman's adultery
76% of men betwen 40-49 forgive their wives affairs
30-39 years olds are more likely to seek counselling
11% have retaliatory affairs
20% of women admit to having fantasies and thinking of other people when having sex with their husbands
4% direct their thought to other women
30% of 30-39 year old women have the most fertile fantasies
60% of people between 20-29 use erotic literature, of which 13% are women
1% of 20-29 year olds have been with other women
35% of 20 -29 year olds do play role
25% of women in their 40's use erotic literature
6% of over 60's use erectile drugs
4% of couples in their 30's and 40's use chemical aids.

I had my Angio

Seems that I am ok.
Playing football in 47c didn't help and it seems that my blood went to boiling point and clotted up a secondary artery and therefore the heart wasn't and still isn't working right.
However, the consultant seems to think that if I get the cholesteral down to 3.5 from 5.2 it should be better.
The secondary artery is flowing a bit now.

The rest of the weekend I have to rest.
I am not supposed to fly for 2 weeks but the consultant said that as it's only 30 minutes flying I should be ok.

Rule of Reason

http://ruleofreason.blogspot.com/2010/11/islamic-ambulance-chasers.html

Christian woman sentenced to death in Pakistan 'for blasphemy'

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/8120142/Christian-woman-sentenced-to-death-in-Pakistan-for-blasphemy.html

More proof of how intolerant Muslims are and that they want to take over the world!!!
Time and time again we see these type of things.
They don't like you or Christians, they eradicate them!!

Teacher shouts and get hoarse and claims STG 150,000

A teacher Joyce Walters won a payout of STG 150,000 because shouting at the the class made her hoarse!
This is an absolute disgrace to the UK and to the legal system that cannot give our soldiers a decent payout!

1. She shouted so much at the class
2. Means she didn't have control
3. Means she was useless as a teacher
4. Means this is worth about 5 years money maybe 6 years.
5. What happened to the lawyer for the Education system?

At 50 years old and useless, I trust the local Education system in Hillingdon, London, retires her immediately in disgrace!!!

BP has more money than sense

Can you please explain to me why BP hires a contractor, who is a woman (Niloo Madani), Arab at STG 150,000 a year,
AND, pays her Ritz hotel bill at STG 815 a night  which equals STG 297,475 a year without food, which I am sure they are paying as well! She has been there 3 years.
It doesn't make sense, unless.... she is a mistress!!!!

Call me a sceptic but I think I am not far from the truth!!!

Spurs 3 vs 1 Inter Milan

Spurs outplayed Inter last night.
Bale having scored 3 goals in their last match 2 weeks ago to bring the score back to 3-4 he made a solo game last night just flicking off any challenge or just spurting past the 'best' defender in the world in Maicon from Brazil. They just couldn't contain him and he made 2 goals last night.
Spurs deserved their win and the new player Van der Vaart scored again as well.
It was exciting and Spurs just kept attacking Inter.
It was awesome.
I don't get excited much, but last night I was screaming and my mates in the flat can tell you, I made them jump a few times.
Fantastic and the topping is that I can't stand Inter's Manager Benitez, so his glum face was a treasure.
Oh and by the way Inter are the Champions from last year and we kicked their arse!!

Come on youuuuuu Spurrrssssss!!!!!!

Harry Redknapp threatens media silence

In the UK we have the right to FREE SPEECH.
Apparently this isn't extended to the Football Association.
So after his comments at the weekend Harry Redknapp of Spurs may be fined.
So he has threatened to not to speak to the media.
This will in turn bring another fine and whatever else from the F.A.

However, I would like to point out that Sir Alex Ferguson of ManUtd has done this to the BBC, and he hasn't been fined and this has gone on for about a year or so.

The decision was ok but the ref was very unclear with his actions and the ref is prone to many errors and many teams complain about him.
He should be relegated to lower leagues

Also what this will highlight is that the Ref CANNOT be wrong and the F.A> will back whatever decision the Refs make. How many bookings and sendings off have been turned around over the years. I would say well below 1%, so this gives you the idea of what the F.A. will say today.

Also, another thing that isn't highlighted is that Nani dived several times before he dived on this occassion. He should be booked every time for Ungentlemanly Conduct. what happened to this rule??

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/tottenham-hotspur/8103560/Tottenham-Hotspur-manager-Harry-Redknapp-threatens-vow-of-silence-over-Nani-mess.html

Airport security

what a Coincidence.
The British Airways Chairman moans about the UK security checks and the delays it causes, because we are pampering to the Yanks.
'lo and behold 3 days later there are 2 /3 foiled bombs !

Rather odd this. Maybe the yanks planted them???

Ass hole!!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3202818/Man-killed-over-sex-with-donkey.html

The Ugly Bug Ball

An agency called the Uglybugball.com has it's first marriage.

The couple enjoyed 4 dates of junk food dinners before deciding to marry.

I guess it was an eat off!

Tom single since 1998 said his face makes his kids cry - so not so good.

They are being treated to a caravan honeymoon by the website.

I wonder if they supply the booze as well so they can have their little rumble and in the morning wonder what the hell they have done with a minger laying next to them!!

www.TheUglyBugBall.com if you are interested

Guide for Gay Dads

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/8086536/Guide-for-homosexual-fathers-launched.html

How comes for centuries we have always told our kids that there are no rules and you have to learn on the job when having kids.
Now of course the Brown Noses have to have a manual so they can blame someone when it doesn't work.

My advice- Shoot the buggers!!!

All crazy today!

Stansted was busy and Schiphol was chaotic with the half term hols and a conference in Amsterdam.
Next few weeks are a change for me.
This weekend in Amsterdam.
5/11 my wedding anniversary so I will only do a 4 day week
Week after than only a 3 day week as I have my Hospital procedure and the decision if I need a heart op.
Then a couple of normal weeks and then 4 day week again beginning December.

Visit to see my consultant

I am having an angiogram to see if  I need an operation as one part of my heart not working 100%.
If I do it's a new piece of artery!

Call be Bionic!

Rooney is a greedy bastard!!

Rooney who is earning Stg 90k / week = Stg 4,68 million per year plus advertising etc etc
now wants Stg160k / week plus plus.

In order to back his argument he says that the owners are stopping the funding of new players etc and therefore are not ambitious enough.
What he hasn't got into his Shrek like brain is that you can be all the ambitiousness you want, but it doesn't mean
to say you will win - look at Man City!!

So is it better to win medals rather than earn Stg 160k per week. That is the crux of the argument and with a pending divorce (which will happen at some time) he needs all he can get!!!

Sod the EU !

Nearly all EU countries are bankrupt and only UK, Germany and Holland net providers of money
Yes even the French are net takers!

Now they want  more money from UK after our cutback announcements, as they seize their chance to get more from our coffers and we don't complain much. Bring back Maggie!!

The politicians of today have NO backbone and need to start standing up to the Eurocrats and tell them to shove it, otherwise we pull out of the EU.

My missus is a nightmare

My missus has OCD with keeping things tidy.
No sooner do i put papers down they are either in my office or in the bin.

Anyway, as some of you know I have been looking to cancel my deal with BMW and get my deposit back.
1. They did something illegal when taking the deposit and now Trading Standards have been advised
2. They were playing around for time, or so it seemed

Anyway, they called today to let me know they will repay the deposit after I sent a cancellation email and letter, but need the card details they debited in order to credit again

So my missus gets a new card from the bank, I am not sure why, so she shreds a Bank card.
She tells me after I warn her of a call from BMW, that she shredded the wrong bloody card and it's the one BMW need!!!

I just despair at the insanity of it all.
You can't make it up can you??

Mourinho wants to offer Zinedane Zadine a top job

I guess they could employ him as a coach on heading !!!

No.1 sexiest Essex Girl

Not stunning but wouldn't kick her out of my bed!!
There are better in Essex

Utter rubbish again!!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/8042085/Cutting-meat-to-3-meals-a-week-will-save-45000-lives.html

What rubbish they come up with and no real proof.
We are told that Chicken is good for you
To cut down on meat brings other problems, like Cancer.
Try explaining this to the French etc who don't have so much heart disease but eat a lot of meat!!
Another waste of money to a nutty professor!

What a shit weekend!!!

1. Friday night the wife went to bed and my daughter was out at her boyfriends 18th party. She etxt to ask what time she had to be home. I text back asking what time did she have in mind, as I didn't know what the plan was!
Then I get questions rather than an answer. So I said ok Midnight. The  I got the usual kind of text that i was being unreasonable. So I said be home or be grounded. Then I get a text saying I am 16 not 5. Now that is like a red rag to a bull. She comes in at 1am. I am livid. Blow me the missus didn't support me, so I am still livid.
I will get my own back, wait when I am asked for something!!! Then  I'll see how livid they are!

2. Go to BMW for them to look at my car to trade in. They come back and say that my whole passenger side has been resprayed and isn't good, plus I have 3 worn tyres and I have scratches.
Well I am only the second owner of the car and the dealer was the first and they said they haven't resprayed it, as well as I haven't. Tyres and scratches are normal. Mercedes looked at it and offered STG 5000 and then offered another STG 800. BMW want to offer about STG3,500. So how about bollocks and screw a BMW. I will eitehr go for the Merc or none now and say Bollox to everyone!!!

3. My middle son wanted to see Grown Ups last week but I didn't have time. So tonight I took him for fish and chips and then we went to the cinema only to find out that it's SOLD out. Now I am accused of not keeping my promises!!!

So screw everyone I am fed up !

And so the new crusade begins!!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8064607/Retired-French-schoolteacher-in-niqab-rage-case.html

Female Eunuch vs Todays woman

40 years ago Germaine Greer and Aussie lady wrote a book called 'The Female Eunuch' which was about the liberation of women.
The book was publicized more and more because it created riots in London with wimmin's fashion stores being vandalized.
Germaine was an editor of a wimmin's sex mag or something in Australia when she wrote this and today admits the book was about sexual freedom and that women should enjoy it as much as men. Or that men shouldn't just have their own gratification without thinking that women should also participate and enjoy.

On the back of this book Germaine was allowed to come to UK and receive almost celebrity status. Today she lives on the Hertfordshire and Essex border still selling the same thing.

Instead of being idolized Ms Greer should in fact be held accountable for what she stirred.

If I do a quick comparison of women from the 70's to today:

70's
More marriages
Hardly any divorce
Family values were still in place
Women brought up their families
Less materialism
No legal cases at work
More comfort among men and women at work
Women treated with respect
More chivalry toward women
Women were feminine
Women were healthier then

2010

Marriages are less and more co-habitation (just in case it goes wrong)
Too easy for divorce with easy get out clauses!
Family values are all but lost
Girls of 14 having kids with no Father for the kid
More wimmin go to work and don't want to bring up the family and are more selfish
Wimmin are favoured in divorce cases when it's not the man's fault
More materialism
A woman doesn't make the grade at a top job, so they sue.
A word out of place in the office means being sued
The office is too full of Political Correctness
Women are treated as equal (when they are not) and then moan when it doesn't suit
Wimmin are more like men, but can't cope with it.
Wimmin didn't have so many headaches!!


All in all it's a disaster!

That's why I think Germaine should be stripped of her fame and cast aside as a pillock!!
By the way most Aussie women are like this !!!
Obviously being second in line to sheep all these years has caused them a problem!!!!

Any comments?
Please send them to me

My Dream!

Well actually I have 3

1. Living in France or Italy next to a vineyard. Having a part time postman job and working in the vineyard
2. Driving around in a winnibago through France or Italy for a month visiting the vineyards, drinking wine, eating excellent food and then sleeping in the afternoons
3. Can't mention on this blog!!

October 2010

Well nearly another year has passed and they seem to fly by, now that I am over half a century.
I see my 6 kids and all I see for the future, is another war and heartache for them.
Maybe films like the 'Terminator' and other futuristic films may not be far off the mark, with anarchy etc

UK to become a wobbly state!!

After the EU agreement with India on trade between the EU and India we will get a flood of wobblies incoming to the UK claiming all kinds of benefits and not paying taxes.
The EU is forcing the UK to go bust and the government cannot do anything because they are a bunch of wimps
and cannot see beyond their fucking noses

It's time to leave this doomed country!!!

25-35 years caucasians will be the minority

What a gentleman Sir Bobby Charlton is!

As most of us oldies know Sir Bobby Charlton's Father was a miner.
Those who don't know Sir Bobby Charlton is a footballing legend after surviving the Munich Aircrash in which most of the Man Utd team lost their lives.

Anyway Sir Bobby has invited all 33 of the Chilean miners to Old Trafford to see Man Utd play and I am sure alot more.
The club is backing him as well.
Fortunately most of the Chilean miners are football fans and most will know of Sir Bobby and Man Utd. What a gesture and what a time it will be for those men!!

Well done Sir Bobby and Man Utd!

This car or that car?

Spent Saturday looking at cars.
Today I will find out which one after the deals they come back with
1. BMW 325 cabriolet
2. Mercedes CLK 350 sport.

Too much news

I have to scan the papers as there is so much news this weekend.
The UK is in Chaos

The 9/11 site should bury a pig !!!

And the Yanks Tea Party is in collusion with the English Deffense League against Islamists !!!

As I said I can see a crusade building up !!!!

Western World vs Sharia - Western world is losing!!

http://www.citizenwarrior.com/2010/07/concessions-to-islam-are-sharia.html

Jack the Ripper

I watch educational programmes and on the History Channel last night it was about Jack the Ripper.
If you don't know he carved up prostitutes in the East End of London, namely Whitechapel.
All kinds of theories came out which included the Prince of Wales at the time.


Anyway, the History channel hired some CSI or NCIS people who investigated.


The out come was common sense in a way.
No real pattern except that at that time and in this area the East End of London was riddled with Syphilis, which as we all know (not) causes brain decay and people going out of their mind.
According to this team, they took the killings and the verocity of them later on, to lead to the conclusion that this person was riddled with Syphilis which explained the lack of pattern, but mainly where ever he was at the time.


They also noted that it was a Jewish community, even then, and on some nights there happened to be a Jewish meeting or something going on.


So there we have it, he was a Jewish East ender, most probably in the rag trade (that's what they did in that area) and riddled with Syphilis

The F.A. are idiots and should be sacked

Why on earth am I seeing in the press today that the F.A. want McClaren back?

1. he failed miserably before
2. he won the league in Holland because it is about Championship level
3. He was ridiculed for trying to fake a UK-Dutch accent
4. Last week was ridiculed because he tried to fake a UK-German accent
5. He failed as a UK Manager
6. Not doing well at Wolfsburg because the standard is better than Holland

This just goes to show, that the F.A. want a yes man and a complete nincompook!

De Jong is an animal and should be banned

I have seen de Jong play several times for Man City and the Dutch team.
Basically, he is an animal and something needs to be done about him.
The Dutch are saying that he should be banned and they are appalled at his tackle  against Ben Arfa and also what he did in the World Cup final.

The F.A. are also at fault, as are the Man City board for not disciplining him.
A call to ban him until Ben Arfa can play is all well and good, but what happens if Ben Arfa doesn't come back to his fitness and style again.
I think he should be banned for life from the Dutch team and also he should have to pay Ben Arfa salary or 50% as punishment. The harsh tackle wasn't necessary.

It was a bit like van de Vaart last week when Spurs played in the Champions league against Twente. Van de Vaart aimed for the guy and turned his back on him as he ploughed into him. This isn't football it's crap.

Non-PC jokes

Why do women marry in white?
So they match the appliances

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand nearer to the sink

Sunday in UK

Today is my boys football day.
Match 1 at 10am and I am the official linesman.
Match 2 at 2pm just 7 miles away

Unfortunately the weather forecast is rain.

New York city should take note!!!

EXCELLENT IDEA 

In Seville, Spain, the City Council authorized the construction of a Mosque on one of the empty pieces of land.

The citizens did not want the mosque built in their vicinity and found a brilliant solution.

They buried a pig in the land, and made the news public.

The Islamic law prohibits the construction of a mosque on the lands desecrated by remains of pigs, therefore the Muslims had to renounce the construction on this desecrated land...
The commentaries of the Civil Guard (Police) are very interesting. Maybe it is the solution needed by New York to avoid the construction of a mosque in the vicinity of the twin towers.

The Israelis have been using a similar strategy since 2004. They placed boxes containing pig lard on the buses in Israel and made it public that any kamikaze suicide bomber who tries to assault a bus, risks the prohibition of entering the heaven by getting the lard on his/her self.  

There are no suicide bombers on the buses in Israel any more. 

Another Footballer scandal is on the grapevine

I hear that a Liverpool player is about to be exposed as having an affair or having a prostitute.
However, another grapevine tells me it's his missus who is having an affair with a drug Baron in Liverpool.
I guess the 2 could go together?

Chairman of Pakistan Cricket retracts the accusation of England fixing.

Well what a surprise!!!
They accused the England team to detract from their own problems and now one or two now of their players admitting it, this idiot has backed down and the threat of legal action I guess.
He should be sacked from the Pakistan Cricket Board as it's not his first screw up.

If it was England he would either be sacked or asked to resign, but I guess this guy who is on good salary etc wont' do the honourable thing!!

Pakistan Cricket team now splitting and showing their colours!

As I said previously, the Pakistani team are a bunch of liars.
In todays press it says that Teen bowler Moh'd Amir was told by his Captain to throw the game.
There you have it, from one of the horses mouth.
Of course the Captain Salman Butt will deny it, but we ALL know they are a bunch of thieving bastards!
Also the Ambassador and the the head of Pakistan Cricket Board should resign, because they are as bad as the others i.e. all on the take and a bunch of CHEATERS !

Why don't we use the same rule as they do in their country.
All guilty until proven innocent! May save millions in court bills

Trained monkeys guard athletes at Commonwealth Games

Trained langur monkeys are being deployed by organisers of the Commonwealth Games to prevent wild animals infesting sporting venues in Delhi.

The highly intelligent primates have been patrolling stadiums and accommodation blocks to scare off other wildlife including wild monkeys, dogs and even snakes.

Handlers from miles around the Indian capital have been drafted in to patrol the athletes’ village as the final preparations are made for the games.

Some teams threatened to boycott the competition after complaining that the accommodation was inhabitable and overrun with animals.

One shocked South African competitor even discovered a deadly cobra snake in his room.

Heavy monsoon rains have caused flooding near the Games Village causing many snakes to seek refuge.

Commonwealth Games organisers have also been particularly concerned buy the arrival of packs of wild monkeys which have been creating a nuisance around the venues by stealing food and attacking humans.

Langur monkeys are noted for their intelligence but also their aggression and are highly effective in deterring other animals from taking up residence.

The Commonwealth Games are due to get under way at the weekend and will be officially opened by the Prince of Wales.

This should make the competitors feel really safe !!!

I thought the headline related to the locals at first!!!

Bentley to recall cars over fears 'Flying B' could impale pedestrians

An Article in the Daily Telegraph today!

This has never happened and looking at the sign it isn't likely to unless at tremendous force.

Bentleys are known to be safe as people who have them are generally, geriatrics who drive slow or if a younger person like 45 years old, they don't want to spoil the car anyway.

Another elf & safty mark!!

=======================================================================

Bentley, the British car maker, is to recall hundreds of vehicles in the United States because of fears that pedestrians could be impaled on the iconic "Flying B" bonnet ornament in a crash.

 

By Heidi Blake
Published: 7:08AM BST 23 Sep 2010

14 Comments

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1 of 2 Images

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The winged statue is designed to retract in the event of a collision, but fears have been raised that the mechanism may fail if the ornament gets rusty.

"There is a potential for the 'B' hood ornament's retracting mechanism to become corroded. This may lead to the 'B' hood ornament not retracting as intended when a vehicle is involved in a crash," a recall notice from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) said.

"If the hood ornament does not retract, it could increase the risk of injury to a pedestrian in the event of a crash between the vehicle and the pedestrian," the agency added.

The recall affects the Arnager, Arnaget, Arnage RL, Brooklands and Azure models from 2007 to 2009, some of which come with a recommended price tag of well over $300,000 (£191,680). The NHTSA estimated around 600 cars are implicated.

The recall is highly unusual for Bentley, which manufactures some of the world's most expensive and sought-after vehicles.

The company decided to recall the cars after a dealer spotted the problem in Britain.

In notifying NHTSA of the risk that pedestrians could be harmed by a rusty "B" sign, Bentley stressed that "this condition has not been witnessed by or reported to Bentley Motors Limited, neither is Bentley otherwise aware of any accidents or injuries related to this matter."

The company has pledged to fix the problem at dealerships beginning later this month for free.

Footballers are fair game for the wannabe's

Bramble and Beckham on the same day to have sex scandals.
There have been others recently as well, so I repeat what I said before, why don't the clubs make the footballers aware of the parasites out there!
However, if proven true against Beckham this will end his marriage for sure. At least he is still active somewhere then!!!

Gutted by Spurs and as expected from the crooks of Lahore!!

How on earth did Spurs lose 4-1 to the Arsenal youth team???

Harry should stop playing about wiht the team and field his strongest all the time. I guessed we would lose as the bookies slashed the odds of an Spurs win on the premise that Wenger plays his youngsters for the Carling cup. Then I thought well always go for the underdog!!

Pakistan true to form in the press today now coming out with even more rediculous claims that a fracas between a England and Pakistan players caused them nearly to call the police. The Pakistan are very clever at brinkmanship and trying to upset the opposition.
If they think this will smoke screen the fact that they are outright crooks, they can think again!!

Just ban the bastards!

I was right !! number 2

I have 2 takers already!

• We should arrange caddies for those bunker shots!
• Celebrations for a hole in one
• Massages afterwards
• Someone to tuck us into bed!!

When is the best time to go ??? i.e. non-monsoon.

Pakistan Cricket is a sham

Now the Pakistani team are accusing the England team of bribery!
Of course this is just typical of a corrupt association by making sweeping accusations against other teams.
I want to know why this corrupt team are still playing. IF the England team had been found to do this then they would be suspended.
Already middle men are putting on bets about very specifics in this weeks match.
I suspect these specifics will be changed now to try and avoid being caught.
Pakistan is a VERY corrupt society so it happens in their daily lives and it most probably happens in Hockey and any other sport they do internationally. I know Pakistani politics and daily lives very well having been there and knowing very wealthy families and people in power.
It's my view the bastards should be chucked out for 10 years.

I was right !!!

My weekend went as expected and even worse.

Apparently, for not saying anything to my missus about her poor sister who has Cancer, I was guilty of not supporting her.

Eventhough, I was more tender and caring (for me anyway) than normal.

I just can't win.

The Asian girls are looking more enticing by the day.

I think a weeks worth of golf in Thailand is becoming appropriate!!

Anyone else want to join me for golf??

Afternoon playtime is cancelled for being too noisy!!

3 Neighbours have complained that the afternoon playtime is too noisy at a school!

1. Isn't that the whole point of Playtime to vent their energy into running around and screaming
2. Why move next to a school if you don't like noise or children
3. Where is the sense of the school Head teacher
4. Where is the sense from the council

Barlby Community Primary School, Selby, North Yorks and the governors are waiting for an Acoustic survey.

Tell the 3 whinging neighbours to move!"!

XFactor is a con

XFactor showed that Louis Walsh was a moody pratt and listed a number of acts boring. Simon Cowell asked why he was grumpy and trying to ruin peoples lives.
2 camp gay poofs come on and Louis cheers up and laughs and takes an interest. The 2 campers choose a wrong song, so they give them a second chance. Their entourage looked like a gay parade from another planet.
Anyway, their second song allows them to go through. Thye are followed by a pub, nightclub singer, who chose the wrong song. Did they give him a second chance, no bloody way!!

It's a con and I hope it's the last season.

Also, 2 fat ladies (Bingo) were terrible and one of them was so incensed by it she punched the other as they walked off stage. Hilarious !!!

Weekend thoughts

So far I have been proven correct in my assumptions!!

UAE raising even more taxation indirectly

All Foreigners to have ID cards. something like AED100 for the card, visa cost + AED 140 a year.
Also under 15's to have cards as well at AED 140.

Personal Taxation due I believe in 2013.

This is the richest country in the world per headcount.

If you saw UAE first hand and lived there for 3 months, you would realize it's in serious trouble.

Personally I wouldn't have any money there and get out beofre it all starts going belly up.

All I read are new proposals for the Tourist trade. Why is this? Could it be their Oil reserves are vastly over rated?We shall see but I doubt in 30 years you will rememebr I said this!And I won't be here to remind you.

Quiet weekend for me!

I know I am selfish, but it seems my weekend has just been spoilt for any nookie.
The missus' sister has been diagnosed with Cancer and a blood clot on the lung.

Anyway the good news is I can watch more football!

In the clear!

It seems I don't owe the Dutch taxman money according to my company set up.
Still checking one last bit of info before I celebrate!!!

Nightmare morning

Up at 3.30am and at Stansted at 4.30am, where I was greeted by queues of people for check in. Luckily I had to just drop a bag off. Then I went to Security and the queues were almost at the exit of the terminal!

I get to Schiphol -Amsterdam and the queues for passport control went way back as well and then the taxi rank which had about 200 people lining up.

Traffic was a bit slow. So all in all arrived in the office later than expected.

Taxing

Well having seen a tax expert in Holland yesterday it seems that my UK accountant MAY have got it wrong. If he has I owe about Euros 100k in tax in Holland.
We will see after I have provided all the paperwork and all parties have spoken.

I need a contingent strategy, anyone have one???

Jokes

A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief.
"Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed!"

A black man has been shot at close range with a starting pistol. Police are saying its definately race related!

A friend has just started his own business, manufacturing Land mines that look like Prayer mats. Apparently prophets are going through the roof

Alex Ferguson held an 80's party for his players. Giggs arrived in a cavalier, Scholes arrived in a sierra and Rooney come in his escort

My wife offers to take me for a thai!

Obviously she meant a dinner, but I did think about it twice !!!

life back in Europe

Wet, cold and trying to sort out tax status!!

Coleen to leave Rooney

So Coleen has told him she doesn't need him anymore and her family have banned him from their house.
Well we will see if all of this is long term.
However, I know she is a beautiful girl and now she is mega rich and will get more from Rooney, I don't think Rooney will be short of a good looking girl.

Isn't it about time the football clubs help with coaching these stars about infidelity?
Even if it tells them that
1. they will always be caught
2. Too many girls looking to sell their story
3. it will cost them at least half of their earnings!

They must all be bloody thick. No wonder Spurs are looking to start a school. Except it will be full of Dunces!

Maybe Renaldo isn't so stupid. He can pay for girls, he can pay one million to keep a pregnant mother quiet,
But at least he can get rid of the problem quickly and still keep his money in tact etc and it will blow over quickly.

Then  there is the story of Abby Clancy finding out about Crouch going with a another girl.
Her solution is to make him marry her asap to 'help' her forgive.
The way I think of it, is that she will leave him after about a year and say that she can't forgive and forget, name the other woman etc etc
Then she gets about STG3 mio happy days!!
Crouch is likely to fall for this as well 'cos he is thick.
I would say, give her the Spanish elbow why you can mate!!

Here is a question:

Who is being exploited these days?

Answer: Men and the women have it to a fine art!! They are like Rottweilers with lipstick.
They have short dresses on, make up, push their tits up and then go for the jugular in a nightclub or somewhere. After the deed is done, it's off to the newspapers!!
I am cynical, but how many times is it happening?

In Amsterdam

Well I am back here.
Yesterday was glorious sunshine and the girls were out.
Today, pissing down and I got into work wet!!
Oh well, different to being covered in dust I suppose from the desert.

Having said that, I had a great time in Abu Dhabi, especially with my 'Boss' Paul who is a great guy, shame he is a septic though!
The company was brilliant and the staff very nice, especially the local girls who laughed alot and took innuendos well.

However, the family come first and my health second and being able to save money third!!

First weekend back in UK

Ok! so I have been running around a bit.
Today (Saturday) I was with my middle son going to Chelmsford.
I met with my local Masonic Lodge guys, then we went and looked for football boots for my son as his toes is bad from others being too slow.
He is 13 years old and now has size 9 boot.
My 18 year old has 14 size boots

Then  we went to see the film The Expendibles. Typical Stallone movie loads of blasts, shooting and what was funny was he went back for a girl and saved her of course, but when she was eventually saying goodbye and thank you for saving me, he hugged her!! No kissing 'cos he is a man. Either that or he is a crap kisser with that wonkey mouth he has!!!

Tonight not a lot. Tomorrow is down for filing my company stuff and getting ready to leave for Amsterdam in the afternoon.

Pakistan cheating again in cricket

a lot of news about the Pakistan cricketers being involved in bribes and betting scam.
The newspaper in the UK caught a guys fair and square taking STG150,000 for a scam that listed that there would 3 balls called a 'Bye' on a certain over and a certian ball in the over to go wild and decalred a 'a bye'.

The middle man was arrested and then released on bail with no deposit. whats the betting he will disappear!!

Then the 3 cricketers who went along and took the bribes allegedly are being investigated today by the Pakistan cricket committee at the Embassy.

We have seen this before, as it's not the first time they have been caught.

However, all that will happen is a small fine and a ban for a few games on these guys IF they can prove anything.

It's a wash out, when Pakisatn Cricket team should be banned for years, but of course they won't because they have been one of the better teams ( cheating withstanding) and it's worth too much money to the mamby pandy cricket board!!!

In plain language they are ALL crooks!!!!

Back in Blighty!!!

Got back this morning.
Flights full of wobblies and jinglies and confusion amassed.

I was sad to say goodbye to my buddy, but couldn't show him I was upset.
I think we are alike in numerous ways, which is why we compliment each other well.

My faithfull dog was excited for me to be home. He understands me and always listens with no back bark!

However, from an overall view I think the UAE is in trouble for various reasons. So anyone going there see it as a short term thing if 15-20 years is short term.

The richest country in the world won't give much away

So the UAE is struggling to donate money to Pakistan, during the holy month of Ramadan, which is the Muslim period to think of others and give donations freely!

The UK has collected in donations at least 6 times as much, as an act of humanity.
Bearing in mind the oil revenues and free flowing US Dollars to the UAE, this is incredulously small change.
On the radio today the charity collecting has said it is disappointing!

So what is so forgiving and benevolent in Ramadan???

Quiet day reading the damned British Press

So the news today is that the NHS has paid about STG 29 mio for fat bastards to get help to not eat.
On another page is about people who cannot get expensive Cancer drugs to stay alive.
Who is more worthy the pigs or the unfortunates????

Middle East slide

Following on from my previous blogs:

Tax to be introduced 2013 percentage not known yet
Heard through the grapevine ( friend of a friend who works at Gasco) that there is only 30 years left of oil in UAE. I have no idea if this is true, but wouldn't surprise me

An end of an era approaching

5 days left of my time in Abu Dhabi.
It's been a good time.
My main aim is to finish phase 1A of our project and leave feeling I have contributed to a project that will take at least another year.
However, trying to get local people to be motivated and involved, as well as learning a system, has been the biggest challenge. So now it's time to take control by taking control!!!
You want something done, then do it yourself!!( a collective phrase)

GCSE results at William de Ferrers school

My daughter passed 10 out of 11 GCSE's.
However, what upsets me is that her better subject Art she got a C.
Why am I upset.
1. She expected to get better
2. The teacher lost some of her work!

This is the second time that work has been lost by incompetent teachers, when there is no recourse.
The first time was for PE and I sent a letter and highlighted the fact that I had seen the work and obviously kept it stored on my computer. All of a sudden it was found by the teacher!!
I want to go up there and kick the shit out of the bitch who has given my daughter a hard time all term in ART although she gets brilliant comments from all the other teachers.
Obviously this teacher has a problem.
However, my daughter is now giving up Art because of it.
These idiots and has been's, need weeding out and thrown out of the system.
I always thought school was based on ability and not personalities!!!
Anyway, I can't say anything because my daughter says it makes matters worse. So not only are they bloody idiots they are vindictive as well!!!

As I can't do anything, perhaps all my readers can send some comments to the school
http://www.williamdeferrers.essex.sch.uk/

What does Mecca and F1 have in common?

Mecca Hotels and Abu Dhabi hotels up their rates 10 times the normal for Haj and the F1 racing!!

Marriage question

On a longer view!

Give an advantage of being married?
Male point of view
Woman point of view

One answer - Man can buy a shed and have his domain!

Any others?

Beginning of the end for UAE

A number of things that spring up suddenly show that the UAE is beginning to crumble:

• Hundreds of thousands of Apartments empty and landlords won't bring their rent down much.
• 85% of residents are in debt at an average of AED500,000 ( STG 86,000) even low paid workers. However, only 3% of Emeratis are in debt ( yeah right!).
• Emeratis who own new buildings don't have enough money to maintain them so cannot rent them out and yet won't drop the rents!
• 15,000 apartments in Abu Dhabi about to come onto the market, but they are not being maintained and there are no roads to them finished.
• Westerners are being arrested for things 2 years ago would not have been ever thought of.
• This week 3 Emerati's have been proven to have kicked a husband and 7 mth pregnant wife, because they wanted to have their seats at a restaurant and the Canadian couple were eating and refused. The Wife has permanent facial disfigurement.
• A new court for drugs ( which are banned here) has jailed a police officer for selling several kilos of the stuff.
• Dubai has announced they want to build an air conditioned skywalk for people to walk again. This is in a city that is bankrupt and cannot pay it's bills. So which idiot will build it?
• Sharjah doesn't have continuous electricity and has just raised it's electrical charges " for the sake of the people!"

Although events are not often happening they are increasing and with the Credit Crunch hitting the locals we can expect more episodes and comments about foreigners being in their country.

I think this is where the bubble bursts.
The government here needs to change attitudes and to start by at least halving rents to get buildings occupied and also to create a new business environment to attract businesses like a corporate tax break or something

Top ten Fringe jokes

The Top 10 funniest jokes from the Fringe Festival:

1. Tim Vine: ''I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.''

2. David Gibson (as Ray Green): ''I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone.''

3. Emo Philips: ''I picked up a hitchhiker. You gotta when you hit them.''

4. Jack Whitehall: ''I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought' - I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.''

5. Gary Delaney: ''As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.''

6. John Bishop: ''Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.''

7. Bo Burnham: ''What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.''

8. Gary Delaney: ''Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted.''

9. Robert White: ''For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates - empty.''

10. Gareth Richards: ''Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food, or if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub.''

Men's domain

On the radio here today the female presenter said that as part of her friends wedding arrangements the bride has ALLOWED the groom to name the tables. Apparently this is the new thing that all tables at a wedding breakfast are names in some way. Now her friend (guy) is a Portsmouth fan and is naming the tables by players.

It struck me that this is most probably the ONLY thing he will do in the arrangements.
Men don't get much say in these parties, so i think it's a bloody cheek to say how good it is for her to allow this!!!

Then of course this brings to mind the home.
How much of a house is it that men actually have any say?
We mainly pay for the home or at least half and the bills, but have very little say. Unless it's the shed or garage or any out building. Why is this you may ask yourself?
1. They are away from the main home
2. It could rain between the buildings and the woman could get wet
3. Out buildings have spiders and webs.
4. They are dirty

So if you are like me, I have built an office in the garden ( 10x14 feet ) had satellite and stereo put in and a nice extra large bean bag. My home from Home and the missus doesn't come very often. Try it!

Easy Day

Lazy day today.
Went to Dubai yesterday and met a couple of people and spent most of the day with my colleague.

Today got up late at 8.30am and been packing and ironing, listening to the radio and reading ' Tiger Hills'.

Chopped a number of people from my Facebook.

My wife doesn't understand computers

If you are a watcher of Little Britain you will understand that my wife is like the dopey girl at the computer " the computer says No"
Having explained something fairly simple, she told me she doesn't understand.
The solution : get my 9 year old son on the phone and I run him through it!!!Daaaarrrggghhh

Role reversal Saudi comedy provokes anger among male population

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/saudiarabia/7950200/Role-reversal-Saudi-comedy-provokes-anger-among-male-population.html

This simple comedy and the outrage explains everything that is bad in the Muslim faith.
It explains that it is a VERY male chauvinistic religion!!

Michael Douglas has throat Cancer

Over many years all the celebrities I have known to have throat cancer didn't survive!
So why he is optimistic I don't know!!

E.g. Jack Hawkins

Good payout for Catherine Zeta Jones though !!

My wife doesn't understand me!

I wish she did!
I am not an easy person to know, but my needs are simple.
It seems I have trouble portraying them and my other half has trouble translating them!!


Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus!!!

Happy Ramadan!

In the month of Ramadan it seems there are no rules.
Court cases are taking longer because 70% of judges are out on holiday!

Electricity bills have gone up 100-120% but the state energy company hasn't old anyone!

Ramadan Begins

The start of the month of Ramadam.
Locals work maximum 6 hours a day, while expats work normal hours.

At least we get a room to eat and drink!

45c with 99% humidity in Abu Dhabi

Summer is here!

Funny story from the USA!

Shot in the Head




Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws

and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some

groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the

driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with

both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked

over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she

looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied

that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding

her brains in for over an hour.



The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the

doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her

head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of

bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had

exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a

gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When

she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and

thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly

recovered.



Linda is blonde, a Democrat and an Obama supporter, but that could be

irrelevant.

EU Rules

This is a good site.
Best one is the marmaids!!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6481969.stm

Happy reading. This is a lead up to my new website I hope to create

What I would like to do

My aim is to become a political Party Chairman.
Work more with High Level Autism Spectrum people
Work with more children in Football.

I would love my family to be involved as well.