So last night was the family's annual function.
We try somewhere different most years and we have had some nice places.
This year we went to a local golf club, that houses many functions and in particular Indian weddings.
This is in the heart of Essex.
It was advertised as 'Las Vegas night'.
The family arrived with keen expectation.
I went to the bar and there was this woman in a fake leopard skin coat and messy hair.
It ended up that she was out of her tree, before the function!
Her Xmas function clothes was a halter neck cheap top and red trousers.
Not something to wear, when it's an annual, kind of Black tie function.
Anyway, I noticed that there were a few girls already drunk as we settled in.
After the starter, of a tiny 3 rib of pork, there was a big introduction of Elvis Presley.
In fact he was a local Indian imitation, with a rather large stomach, in a bright blue and sequinned suit and a black wig.
Anyway, his voice wasn't too bad as it happened, but then he made some comments about brussel sprouts and made some rude noises! Very festive, I must admit, and highly inappropriate, I thought.
He went on for about 1 hour and walked around the room and as there were more drunk women they all went up to him and had photos taken etc. It was madness!
Eventually, we got rid of him.
So we get the main course and it was nice, but needed to eat the half of the meal the missus didn't want to fill me up.
Dessert was Xmas pudding and brandy cream.
All the night wine, beer was free and then after 10pm some spirits were free.
The Las Vegas bit, well! was one roulette table and 1 black Jack table. Stacks were I think low but, you couldn't get near to it. SO I walked around and found the coffee and mince pies.
The coffee was instant coffee-Yuk! and the mince pies were cheap supermarket crap.
By now the time was 9.30pm. OMG! I still had 3 hours to go!
Eventually it came to 11.15 and I walked outside for air.
There was a cafuffel in the car area. A girl of about late 20's was obviously comatose with several people trying to do something, God knows what. Why they didn't call for an ambulance I don't know, 'cos she was obviously in trouble.
Fortunately, our taxi arrived early to take some other people home first. I managed to hijack it and convince the family we had to get it early 11.55pm and not 12.30, because I could see that if an ambulance came for the girl, it would have blocked the whole exit area.
What I haven't mentioned yet, was that same lady I mentioned earlier, falling on the dance floor, many more girls out of their minds on drink and the glasses broken because the drunken Essex girls fell off the dance floor area into other people.
Having looked around today I think we will book Cafe Royale next year for a more suitable a pleasurable experience for Xmas
Happy Xmas all!
We try somewhere different most years and we have had some nice places.
This year we went to a local golf club, that houses many functions and in particular Indian weddings.
This is in the heart of Essex.
It was advertised as 'Las Vegas night'.
The family arrived with keen expectation.
I went to the bar and there was this woman in a fake leopard skin coat and messy hair.
It ended up that she was out of her tree, before the function!
Her Xmas function clothes was a halter neck cheap top and red trousers.
Not something to wear, when it's an annual, kind of Black tie function.
Anyway, I noticed that there were a few girls already drunk as we settled in.
After the starter, of a tiny 3 rib of pork, there was a big introduction of Elvis Presley.
In fact he was a local Indian imitation, with a rather large stomach, in a bright blue and sequinned suit and a black wig.
Anyway, his voice wasn't too bad as it happened, but then he made some comments about brussel sprouts and made some rude noises! Very festive, I must admit, and highly inappropriate, I thought.
He went on for about 1 hour and walked around the room and as there were more drunk women they all went up to him and had photos taken etc. It was madness!
Eventually, we got rid of him.
So we get the main course and it was nice, but needed to eat the half of the meal the missus didn't want to fill me up.
Dessert was Xmas pudding and brandy cream.
All the night wine, beer was free and then after 10pm some spirits were free.
The Las Vegas bit, well! was one roulette table and 1 black Jack table. Stacks were I think low but, you couldn't get near to it. SO I walked around and found the coffee and mince pies.
The coffee was instant coffee-Yuk! and the mince pies were cheap supermarket crap.
By now the time was 9.30pm. OMG! I still had 3 hours to go!
Eventually it came to 11.15 and I walked outside for air.
There was a cafuffel in the car area. A girl of about late 20's was obviously comatose with several people trying to do something, God knows what. Why they didn't call for an ambulance I don't know, 'cos she was obviously in trouble.
Fortunately, our taxi arrived early to take some other people home first. I managed to hijack it and convince the family we had to get it early 11.55pm and not 12.30, because I could see that if an ambulance came for the girl, it would have blocked the whole exit area.
What I haven't mentioned yet, was that same lady I mentioned earlier, falling on the dance floor, many more girls out of their minds on drink and the glasses broken because the drunken Essex girls fell off the dance floor area into other people.
Having looked around today I think we will book Cafe Royale next year for a more suitable a pleasurable experience for Xmas
Happy Xmas all!
