Going into teenager years and girls

My first girlfriend was someone in our street. We used to walk our dogs and meet every morning.
Nice girl, whose Father went to work in Germany for a while and ended up with another woman from Germany. The family moved away after some years.

Living in Dagenham was a case of school during the week and football at the weekends. We would meet up with girlfriends on a Saturday and Sunday, but the girls were also supposed to come and watch me play football.
Some did and some didn't.

Through the teenage years, I wasn't that bothered with girls and I certainly wasn't, as successful as my mates.
Paul was my best mate and we went around together all the time, going to night clubs after our 18th birthday. In the meantime whenever we went out, girls would look at him.
He would tell me, while in a club or bar, that a couple of girls were looking, but for some reason always delayed going to talk to them. He always gave an excuse to wait and make sure!
Eventually, I would get fed up and go to the dance floor and do my dances or go and talk to them. All my dancing was choreographed, not like the stupid bopping of today. This gave me an advantage as girls would come up and say 'we like your dancing can we dance with you.' Then Paul would come and join.
He was a smooth guy, unlike me, as I didn't care whether I got girls or not, I just wanted to enjoy myself. Sounds like Big Bang theory team!
In my early teen years I spent down at the Romford YMCA. It had football training and gym training which I loved to go to. Then Paul and his friends from school started to come and there was a youngsters club at the YMCA. We sat and chatted, played table tennis, which I got quite good at and played Essex county players. Of course I lost, but I gave them a run for their money.
Then we had the disco's. Music like Silver machine, Marc Bolan, James Taylor, Carole King etc etc
As we were all a good group, I had few girlfriends from there.
There was Sue, whose Father was a policeman and they lived in Hornchurch. There was my good friend Val who lived in Elm Park. A few others from Romford and the surrounding area.

At nearly 16 years old, I worked at the local Tescos. It was here that I met my first sexual experience.
Can't remember her name (no surprise) but it was down a dark alleyway on a cold night. Not too successful, but at least I got on the 'step' as they say. Anyway, I can remember an occasion where we went to the golf course. A bunker is apt, but not good for sex!

I think that I was too polite at this age (not that I should have been anything else), so my conquests were few and far between, but I didn't care, 'cos I was focused on football.

In my secondary school, I went out with a few girls.  Again, I wasn't bothered that much, because of football.

In todays age, all things have changed to my day. Many times I was turned down by girls, because I wasn't good looking, but maybe in todays age I would strike it much better. It seems geeky is in!
I tried to make girls laugh, but this didn't help much, so if a pretty girl says she wants a man to make her laugh, don't you believe it! They want someone to show off in one way or another. If the partner is geeky, it means he could start a company and earn a fortune- That's what it's really all about!!

I am sure I am missing some, but I guess the main theme above is, that yes I like girls, but I like football more!! Shame I didn't make a professional player, maybe in todays world I might have!

Next: Family and upbringing

I had a teacher who picked on me when I was 7 and in the infants still. Her name was Miss Jones and she was from Wales. She picked on me just because I wasn't from Wales or had any Welsh relatives.
She was tall and slim and i guess about 25-28. She moved to Rugby to get married.

Our class was fairly close knit. I was with the footballers and out main aim at that age was to get to the Junior section and get into the school football team.

At this point I would like to mention the school caretaker Mr Catchpole. He was a nice man and always seemed in a good mood. His daughter was at the school as well.

So we all move up to the junior section. The Headmaster was My Ling. A tyrant as far as we were concerned and ruled the school with fear, but he did like his choirs and music which our school had.
Unfortunately, he was later convicted and imprisoned for being a paedophile. I have no idea if this was true as he was always nice to me.
The Junior section was happy for me. The teachers were nice.
I wasn't outstanding and lacked concentration at lessons.

Eventually, I moved to the 5th form. I became a good recorder player for the music and choir. I also was a regular player for the school football team and the cricket team.

Sport was run by Mr Ramsammy who is now an executive member of the International Olympic committee. I liked him a great deal. That year we won the Essex Schools cup and won every match I think, or we drew just one game, but never lost.
We played Ripple road school in the final at Barking arena and was given our medal by a young Trevor Brooking.

At the age of about 9 or 10 I started on my football and I played every where I could. Local Fields , Saturday and Sunday teams, going on my bike everywhere.
I played for Blades United in all positions and we played in a few finals.

In these days there was no social media, phones etc, so the class members got on mainly together with little bullying or arguing.

I remember that Dad would try and help me with any homework.
I had a happy upbringing and my parents were good and kind. Dad was a docker and on strike alot, so we didn't have alot of money, but we always had a chance to get away each year in a caravan by the see. Family member were close and we visited alot. In the beginning by train and when Dad got his Anglia in 1965 we went everywhere in the car.
Saturdays, we went to see Nan and Grandad Jones at about lunchtime. Nan would give us bagels, doughnuts, paper and pencils, sweets etc. Also, we would get jewish bread and gherkins in brine. Saturday evenings we may go and visit other Uncles and Aunts from both sides. Sundays we would get visited by the Smith family. Mum would make a Sunday roast for us and then in the evening with guests we would get a Sunday salad and shell fish dinner.
This was in between going out and playing football of course.

I was quite boisterous and chased around alot.
1. I was playing kiss chase at a young age and dived onto broken glass. I still have the scar on my leg.
2. I broke my arm, falling from my bike going to football, because I was wearing football boots and my foot slipped.
3. Me and my mate Andrew Boyle broke a girls toy pram racing around in it. Dad had to get it welded.
4. I was always getting injured from sport
5. I did have some health issues. I used to getting dizzy and went to hospital, but was told i just had a vivid imagination. On the basis that I had a low heart rate it could have been anything. In those days they didn't know.
6. climbing out of the bathroom window and slipping down the rope, only to burn my hands.
7. Stepping on a hot poker in front of the fire
8. We had a gas boiler for clothes that my Mother used. I did something to this. I think I disconnected the gas pipe, leaving the gas on.
9. I used to dream alot and they were a little weird. It now seems that i had a 6th sense. Things that I dreamed about would be in a some kind of city or location. In later years I found myself in these situations and knew where I was and where I had to go or things that were there, eventhough I had never been before. I have been told by clairvoyants since that I do/did have something along these lines.

In our school and in our street we had alot of nice neighbours. Of course we had the 'bad' family. Mr & Mrs Ford. He was a labourer and they had 8 girls! Weekends were entertaining, as Mr Ford would get drunk and have arguments with Mrs Ford. Then it was the boyfriends. I think all but the eldest Pat, the girls became problems, getting pregnant and changing their boyfriends/Husbands regularly.

Mr and Mrs keys that lived next door, were lovely people so what they had to put up with I don't know.

What I can remember the seasons of the year were always lovely for me. As I said earlier, the winters were cold. when snow fell Dad would put coal fire ash on the ground so people didn't slip, but it ruined our fun of sliding. Spring was fresh and the colours always vivid. Summer  was great. That long holiday from school always seemed an age. More important was all the football I could do and racing on my bike. Autumn and especially September I can still smell the hazy smoke from bonfires and of course the mist and fog that was around then.

In those days we didn't have supermarkets etc. So our local shops were small and varied. I can remember the old style ironmongers. The old shop desk and the jars and wooden boxed shelving behind the people working in the shop- A bit like the programme 'Open all Hours' .
The old style Woolworths in our high street, was a major store.

Every week (when I was old enough) I would take our laundry in a pram and walk about a mile to the launderette for my Mum. Mum was a dressmaker and worked from home, so this helped alot.

Next: Starting to go out with girls and my teenage years

At Primary school, we had kids coming and going, but the vast majority stayed all the way through.
We had 2 classes of about 30 kids. I was in the 'A' class and I have no idea why.
Anyway, in the 'B' class there were all kinds of kids. One day this boy Stovey or Stoves arrived and we all thought he was a bit weird.
Anyway, within a short time we found out that he swore suddenly, made some strange movements and in numerous occasions was stripping off in the playground. Of course he had Tourettes, but we didn't know these things. He didn't last long at our school.

I arranged a reunion  after 50 years and most that I found showed. I think about 45 showed and some are still in contact with each other.

After a little time we also had 2 new neighbours with children:
Mr and Mrs Evans next door. Mr Evans had a club foot and worked at Ford. They had 2 children. John their son had severe disabilities and was in a wheel chair. They had a daughter who was fine.

Over the road was Mr and Mrs Murphy and they had a son (Michael) who was a Thalidomide. He had no legs and one arm where his fingers were not normal and his sister Jean was fine.
Anyway, our Mum offered to help them whenever she could, which meant that we took care of them when their parents needed to go out shopping or go out together.

John was confined to a wheel chair, so most of the time he stayed in our lounge and we entertained him and fed him. He was always jolly, but he couldn't talk well.

Michael Murphy was something different. He got around on his backside and was very active. We played football and other games, in fact I am sure he was hyperactive. In later years I saw him at the social welfare office where he worked. Michael was always cheerful as well and liked to come and play with us.

Red bike and First school

My sister had a 3 wheel red bike and this was to become mine at a fairly young age. Of course there were not many people around so we could ride on the pavement. I used to race all around the block, which seemed huge to me. So I loved to race around and go round the corner on 2 wheels.
I guess I had the bike when I was about 4 years old.

I started school when I was 4.3/4. I can remember not liking it at all. On the first day Mum took me and I clung to her in the playground. When the whistle went we all went into the reception classroom. Mum stayed a little while and then said she had to go and come back. I started to cry. She came back a couple or so hours later and I told her not to leave me in future and stay. Th next day the same thing happened. I guess after the 3rd day I got used to it as I started to play with others and listen to stories etc.
Everyday at about 10.30 we would be given a 1/3 pint of milk and we could have a biscuit. it was lovely.
My  first teacher was Mrs Lake I think. I can remember that she was a lovely lady.
The school was Richard Alibon School. It's still there today and has children that speak 17 different first languages.

Next: Stovey and neighbours children

Inquisitive child

Our house was warmed by coal fires. In the mornings we could see our breathe in the winter when we awoke and we had frost on the windows.
The seasons were much more stronger than today.
Winter was cold and we had snow every year, Summers were hit and miss, humid. Autumn brought fog and spring rain.
Our travelling was by local transport as we didn't get a car until 1965, an Anglia car 'C' reg and dark blue.
I was always an inquisitive child who ate coal and worms. I guess a whole load of things, so my parents told me.

I remember some Christmas presents vividly.
The first I can remember was a tin motorbike and rider when I was about 2-3 years old.
I remember a lot of plastic cars and lorries, plastic soldiers and metal ones, painted in those days with lead paint.
Dad and my uncle put together  train track on a hardboard table.
This tended to come out on Sunday mornings when Dad would help and play with me and trains.

In those days, the community was quite tight and they all helped each other. Being in a council house, Husband had a different job, such as; Labourer, Docker, Maintenance person, Fords. I think nearly all were manufacturing industry which is why they were in a council house.
The Wives were in and out of each other homes and some kept to themselves.
Our next door neighbour kept chickens and he used to kill them and at times he gave us one for a Sunday Roast. Mr Wiffin was a keen gardner and wasn't best pleased when I used to throw or kick a ball into his garden. My sisters, brother and myself were always frightened of him as he could be a bit cantankerous. He and his wife were keen church goers and we had a church just 100 yards away, where Mrs Wiffin used to look after the hall and reservations and the church flowers.

We had another neighbour who had a daughter and son. They were all very nice and in later years the son offered me a pound for each trophy I got for football. He reneged on that after the first cup as I got so many.
The daughter when I was 4 used to look after us, when our Mother went shopping.
On 1 or 2 of these occasions she took care of myself and my sister.
She sent my sister off playing with toys or in the garden and took me into the front room, where there was a bed or something. She asked me to do something for her. She asked me to go up her dress/skirt and then do something to her. At one stage my sister came in and she sent her away to play again.
This I have remembered quite vividly since and today would be classified as abuse.

Neighbours changed around us on rare occasions and there was hardly any problems, with most being friends.

My Parents were Catholics and Priests still try to rule by fear.
My elder sister was supposed to go to the Catholic school and as my parents were not a practising family, my sister was refused entry. So my Mum and Dad then enrolled my sister into the local and near , Protestant school. The Priests were horrified that someone had defied them, so on a regular basis, they would come to our house and try to get mum and Dad, plus the family, all going back to church. Dad used to tell them, they had no forgiveness and should never had rejected my sister. He was polite, offered them a drink and gave them a donation. Since that time, myself and my brother and sister went to the local school.

Next; Red bike and school start.

My first memories

I was standing in the kitchen at about 18 months old.
I had shit myself and my Mum saying 'Don't worry, just warn me next time' or something along those lines.
A little after this, My sister was born.
My Mum used to sit down at lunch time with me and my sister and we watched I think ' Watch with Mother'. Mum would breast feed my sister and she used to squirt her milk at me, when I got inquisitive, about what was going on.
I remember that milk was delivered by a man, horse and cart, with Urns of milk on the cart.
Dagenham at this time was new'ish ( 1959, I think the houses were built from 1947 ) , but still was quiet and there was little danger, as there were few cars around.
However, the bread was delivered on an electric trolley in slightly later years. I was about 4 years old and pre-school and I found out how it worked, with a lever on the handle and I started it, but couldn't stop.
I had the lady delivering the bread and my Mum chasing us down the road, screaming for me to let go and stop. Of course the lady caught me and stopped the trolley.

These are my first memories!

My Life!

Introduction

The past couple of days I have realised that my kids have little, if any, interest in my life!
An east end family, who moved out of London to Dagenham to have a better life.
My Father knew the gangsters in the east end of London, (but didn't go around with them)who claimed the life of my Dads friend, when my Dad was supposed to be drinking with him.

Also, I have always considered myself to be a complicated person, when actually I think I am on the borderline of something like aspergers.

So I started to think about my life and I can remember back to when I was about 18months old, living in Dagenham, Essex,UK.
I can remember all kind of things in my life, some funny, odd and sad.
Then I thought that actually, people don't know me and my background.

So I decided that I would try and serialise my memories;
My early life and how life was then, with horse and cart for milk delivery, how my parents made a happy home and family, how we had to care for a disabled boy and a thalidomide boy, how a neighbour abused me, being in a war and having a successful career as a financial trader.
Also, about my marriages and my son who died and my sexual situations that just couldn't be made up.

So this will go on for a while, but these are my memories and my life. Maybe one day my children will read and understand me better and even my wife!!