I am not an easy person to know! My wife of 28 years can confirm this. I feel thst not many people understand me, including my family.
Since I have been qualified as a life coach for High Level Autism I think I now know why.
On top of my East End upbringing I believe I have more than most people, the traits of Aspergers.
We all have it one way or another, but mine is a little higher.
This is why I have found it hard to make long term friends. Those that I have, understand me or just turn deaf ears and blind eyes, to which I am grateful.
What hurts me most is a friend I had since I was 5 years old until 21 years old.
Paul and I were inseparable in numerous ways.
We went out in our teenage years to clubs, parties and pubs. We chatted up girls together.
We used to go to night clubs and Paul would always be on the look out for girls and to be honest, many girls found him attractive. At the bar he would say ' look! those girls are looking at us' and I would say ' let's go and have a chat' he would reply ' No lets wait and make sure'.
Either one of 2 things happened- some other guys would beat us, or I would go and dance on my own (Disco days). I would go through a dance routine I had and I found girls would come up to me and ask to dance with me. Mainly because no other pratt was dancing!But hey! I was different and didn't care.
Thinking back I would mainly call Paul and arrange things, so I shouldn't have been surprised when he pissed off.
We both played football, but Paul was considered better than me. He was at Chelsea and West Ham. After he didn't make it he went to USA to the first MLS league, where he played for the Philadelphia Stoners. I will come back to this.
Paul took me along to Chelsea training and eventually I was training during the summer with the youth team, with Paul. Maybe to make up numbers, but I loved it and the trainers were nice east end guys.
Paul decided to go into acting.
I remember that we both went to Kennington for auditions for a famous choreographer. He wanted me to go for dancing and he was going for singing.
Anyway, we showed up and it all seemed chaotic and unorganised. What it gave me was time to look around. I saw guys in ballet gear and all looked gay. After a while I said to Paul, 'there is no way I was getting into a leotard, so fuck this!' Off I went.
I can't remember if he stayed, but I certainly didn't.
Anyway, we had so many laughs and we ended up mixing with the same people as I inevitably mixed with Paul's school friends at the YMCA, where I did alot of football and gym exercising.
So you get the gist of our friendship. Even my parents treated Paul like another son.
Anyway, when he was 21 he decided to go to the USA and play in the new MLS league. He apparently did ok and was a bit of a celeb. He also tried his hand at acting there or shall we say being and extra.
Many times I would lose contact with him, as did his Mother, who asked me to track him down on a few occasions. This was before mobiles. Sometimes it took we 3-4 weeks to get him on the phone, so no idea what he was tied up with.
At this time I was able to connect his Mother with him using the bank telephone system, so it saved her money.
Eventually, Paul returned from the USA. We had a few calls, but he had changed and didn't want to see me much.
Since this time I have had a few Facebook contacts with him, but his replies have been short. With School reunions you don't know if he will show. My son went to his soccer school and I thought that this might resurrect our friendship, but no, as soon as the school stopped or my son didn't go I have had no contact at all. This must have been 6 years ago.
I think that has had a huge impact on me, which is one reason why I am not very social. I don't trust people anymore and to be honest I view people as acquaintances only.
Friends that I have had for many years are:
Karen and David In York. We have known each other for 37 years. I can call any time and they are lovely. What is odd, is that they come to London, but don't meet with my wife and I. We are expected to go to York.
Tony and Leslie, we have know from Saudi days, so about 27 years. We see them about 6 -8 times a year.
Rob and Leslie who live our street. Mainly my wife's friends, but I am there in the background. We have known them for about 13 years. They have helped my wife many times and she is very close to them. I guess as I have been away alot abroad working, not so much. I still appreciate their friendship.
Rob and Sandra, we use to live opposite for about 6-9 months, but as we are in the same town I see Rob a fair amount. Sandra is from my home town Dagenham and Rob is from my wife's area of Harold hill. Rob and I just wind each other up and have a friendship, where I have stopped speaking to him for a few months and then I go back to him and he just accepts it, after telling me the error of my ways!
Thats' it for my close friends.
What I will say is that those I have as close friends are few, but dear to me!
Since I have been qualified as a life coach for High Level Autism I think I now know why.
On top of my East End upbringing I believe I have more than most people, the traits of Aspergers.
We all have it one way or another, but mine is a little higher.
This is why I have found it hard to make long term friends. Those that I have, understand me or just turn deaf ears and blind eyes, to which I am grateful.
What hurts me most is a friend I had since I was 5 years old until 21 years old.
Paul and I were inseparable in numerous ways.
We went out in our teenage years to clubs, parties and pubs. We chatted up girls together.
We used to go to night clubs and Paul would always be on the look out for girls and to be honest, many girls found him attractive. At the bar he would say ' look! those girls are looking at us' and I would say ' let's go and have a chat' he would reply ' No lets wait and make sure'.
Either one of 2 things happened- some other guys would beat us, or I would go and dance on my own (Disco days). I would go through a dance routine I had and I found girls would come up to me and ask to dance with me. Mainly because no other pratt was dancing!But hey! I was different and didn't care.
Thinking back I would mainly call Paul and arrange things, so I shouldn't have been surprised when he pissed off.
We both played football, but Paul was considered better than me. He was at Chelsea and West Ham. After he didn't make it he went to USA to the first MLS league, where he played for the Philadelphia Stoners. I will come back to this.
Paul took me along to Chelsea training and eventually I was training during the summer with the youth team, with Paul. Maybe to make up numbers, but I loved it and the trainers were nice east end guys.
Paul decided to go into acting.
I remember that we both went to Kennington for auditions for a famous choreographer. He wanted me to go for dancing and he was going for singing.
Anyway, we showed up and it all seemed chaotic and unorganised. What it gave me was time to look around. I saw guys in ballet gear and all looked gay. After a while I said to Paul, 'there is no way I was getting into a leotard, so fuck this!' Off I went.
I can't remember if he stayed, but I certainly didn't.
Anyway, we had so many laughs and we ended up mixing with the same people as I inevitably mixed with Paul's school friends at the YMCA, where I did alot of football and gym exercising.
So you get the gist of our friendship. Even my parents treated Paul like another son.
Anyway, when he was 21 he decided to go to the USA and play in the new MLS league. He apparently did ok and was a bit of a celeb. He also tried his hand at acting there or shall we say being and extra.
Many times I would lose contact with him, as did his Mother, who asked me to track him down on a few occasions. This was before mobiles. Sometimes it took we 3-4 weeks to get him on the phone, so no idea what he was tied up with.
At this time I was able to connect his Mother with him using the bank telephone system, so it saved her money.
Eventually, Paul returned from the USA. We had a few calls, but he had changed and didn't want to see me much.
Since this time I have had a few Facebook contacts with him, but his replies have been short. With School reunions you don't know if he will show. My son went to his soccer school and I thought that this might resurrect our friendship, but no, as soon as the school stopped or my son didn't go I have had no contact at all. This must have been 6 years ago.
I think that has had a huge impact on me, which is one reason why I am not very social. I don't trust people anymore and to be honest I view people as acquaintances only.
Friends that I have had for many years are:
Karen and David In York. We have known each other for 37 years. I can call any time and they are lovely. What is odd, is that they come to London, but don't meet with my wife and I. We are expected to go to York.
Tony and Leslie, we have know from Saudi days, so about 27 years. We see them about 6 -8 times a year.
Rob and Leslie who live our street. Mainly my wife's friends, but I am there in the background. We have known them for about 13 years. They have helped my wife many times and she is very close to them. I guess as I have been away alot abroad working, not so much. I still appreciate their friendship.
Rob and Sandra, we use to live opposite for about 6-9 months, but as we are in the same town I see Rob a fair amount. Sandra is from my home town Dagenham and Rob is from my wife's area of Harold hill. Rob and I just wind each other up and have a friendship, where I have stopped speaking to him for a few months and then I go back to him and he just accepts it, after telling me the error of my ways!
Thats' it for my close friends.
What I will say is that those I have as close friends are few, but dear to me!
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